"So, uh, I thought we were all going to wear our costumes." I say, feeling more than a little moronic in my homemade Superhero costume, complete with mask, cape and hooker boots.
"Well, you're the only one blogging tonight so it seemed kind of silly for all of us to get dressed up." Green Bean offers.
Green Raven weighs in, "Plus, I still haven't taken that sewing class yet and a knitted cape just doesn't fly well. Too many holes"
Olive S. Oyl just snickers a bit as I readjust the control-top, spandex underwear I've donned over my red unitard. Despite the three layers of fabric covering my butt, I feel a bit of a chill. Perhaps it is the wind whistling through my Bedazzled wonder-bra or maybe it's the excitement of the unknown.
Suddenly the phone rings. We all jump a bit and then just stare blankly at one another. It isn't until Olive S. Oyl says "You gettin' that or what?" that I realize they're all waiting for me to pick up the call. I leap into the phone booth and grab the receiver. Pulling it to my ear, I take a deep breath and say hello.
A voice on the other end says "Is this the Green Phone Booth?"
To which I respond in my best superhero voice, "Um. Yeah." as I make the Oh-my-God-it's-not-a-wrong-number, open-mouthed look of surprise at my blogmates. I get a group thumbs up from them and return my attention to our mystery caller.
"This is the Home Owner's Association. We recently adopted a committee charter to create an
Environmental Committee as recommended by the Long Range Planning Committee."
"That's a lot of committees" I say.
"Yes, ahem, well, this new Environmental Committee will serve as an information resource to residents and the Board, assist with planning of educational events, work on the implementation of the our subdivision's "Go Green" initiative and seek out grants and funding for the community."
To which I say "Sounds great!" because, well, it does.
The voice continues, "The committee will consist of seven (7) members who are HOA members appointed for a one (1) year term at the discretion of the Board of Directors."
"So what's all this got to do with me? And why do you speak like a legal document that has been cut and pasted from an online HOA newsletter?" I ask.
"Shut up and listen, Superfreak. The committee is required to meet at least once every other month until such time as a plan of action is adopted by the Board of Directors. The committee shall submit a plan to the Board detailing specific proposals for implementation of the "Go Green" program, education for residents, and grant writing and funding of community-based initiatives. The plan shall be submitted to the Board by July 2009 for review and approval prior to implementation."
::Silence::"Is that everything?" I ask.
"Yes" the voice says.
"Okey-Dokey, then! Well, good luck with all that and let us know how it works out!"
"But WAIT! Don't you know why I called you?" he asks.
"To tell me about your association's sub-committee's new committee?" I guess.
"I called you because I need YOU on this committee."
"Ohhhhh." I say as I let the idea sink in. Bi-Monthly meetings. Proposals. Grants. Time commitments. Talking to the board. Talking to residents. Talking to people. Real live people. In person. Talking. To. People.
My stomach sinks. "Look, I appreciate what you're doing here and I think it's great. I really, really do. It's just that, well, I have two little kids at home and I don't really have time to...." I start to trail off as I realize that I am, in fact, the lamest Superhero since Arm-Fall-Off Boy. "I'm sorry" I say and I hang my head in shame, silently place the receiver back on its hook and walk back out to face my comrades.
"So?!?!?" They all shout in unison.
"They want me to join an Environmental Committee." I confess.
Green Bean actually squeals with delight and Green Raven offers a "woot woot woot". It only takes a moment though before they register my attitude and realize this is not the superhero assignment I'd hoped for. I had assumed someone would need help setting up a compost pile or crafting up a draft dodger. I had never imagined I would be asked for a year-long commitment. Jiminy crickets, I don't commit that long to a frickin hair color, much less to a committee of strangers!
There is a brief moment of silence. And then Olive S. Oyl quietly starts to sing "Look at what's happened to me, I can't believe it myself. Suddenly I'm up on top of the world, It should've been somebody else."
Green Bean, Green Raven and I join in for the chorus "Believe it or not, I'm walking on air. I never thought I could feel so free. Flying away on a wing and a prayer. Who could it be? Believe it or not it's just me."
By the end of the song we're belting it out with total disregard for the barking dogs and houselights flickering on in the neighborhood. I'm laughing so hard that tears are streaming out of my mask, my cheeks hurt and I'm thankful for the extra layers of fabric on my ass. These women have convinced me. I can be a superhero.
"Alright you crazy, tone-deaf eco-nuts, I'm on it!" High fives all around and I'm ready to fly off on my new assignment.
"Before you go, Burbs?" Green Raven says.
"Your cape's stuck in your underpants."
To Be Continued......