Gifts of Knowledge from Burbanmom
Holy reindeer! Only three jolly days left till Christmas. Are you ready? I am. The lights are up (see photo), I have all my shopping done, the gifts are wrapped, and I've only eaten about half of the candy meant for the stockings. Since I have no need to hit the mall for last minute gifts, I can sit back and enjoy myself.
So what am I doing with this extra time? I'm surfing the 'net, of course. And I'm glad I am too, because it was on the magic interwebbies that I learned this: In an effort to promote an eco-friendly holiday season, Santa Clause has made some big changes. It's true. Here's what I've learned....
While Mr. Clause has always made an effort to reduce his personal carbon footprint by foregoing traditional air travel, he has decided to up the ante this year. To raise awareness about the effects of blatant consumerism on our fragile environment, Mr. Clause has instituted several changes for 2008:
Santa will be reducing the number of gifts given to each child. Instead of the normal seven presents, each child will receive one "gotta have it" gift, one book and a stocking filled with small, durable toys and candy. Fewer gifts, less resources. It's really that simple.
No plasticrap, lead coated, child-made presents from China will be in Santa's bag so don't bother asking for a Transformer or Bratz Doll Convertible. In addition to the environmental benefits, this will also help reduce the demand for child labor in undeveloped countries.
Santa will no longer be wrapping presents. This single change should reduce paper consumption by 400 tons and will reduce the need for scotch tape by 6,000 rolls. Instead, Santa will take the time to assemble his gifts and will leave them under the tree. Santa will remove all packaging and return it to the North Pole recycling facility.
And lastly, coal will no longer be given to naughty children. The effects of underground coal mining or worse - mountaintop removal - are far too damaging to the environment. Instead, naughty children will recieve petrified reindeer shit.
Gotta love a green Santa, don't ya?
Merry Christmas to all and to all a Mindful Night.